


The Liars

by apuppynamedliam



Category: One Direction (Band), liam payne - Fandom, niall horan - Fandom, zayn malik - Fandom
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Lies, M/M, Smut, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-13 01:58:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13560267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apuppynamedliam/pseuds/apuppynamedliam
Summary: Why the hell would anyone want to lie about being in a three-way relationship? Zayn, Liam, and Niall may have a clue.Excerpt:It started with an idea, a bad one, one that a certain Niall Horan had conjured up while they were huddled together in a corner of a bar, possessed by the spirit of tequila. It seemed logical then, a "win-win-win," as Niall merrily pitched. Zayn needed to look unavailable, him irresistible, and Liam untouchable. Being in a very public three-way relationship would take care of all that, even if it were just secretly pretend.





	The Liars

**Author's Note:**

> If you're a Louis fan, forgive me. I wanted to explore his hyperfeminine and slutty side here. If it bothers you, just think of it this way: it's all fiction anyway~ Also, Harry will be in this. He plays a pretty key supporting role. See the end notes for more.

It started with an idea, a bad one, one that a certain Niall Horan had conjured up while they were huddled together in a corner of a bar, possessed by the spirit of tequila. It seemed logical then, a "win-win-win," as Niall merrily pitched. Zayn needed to look unavailable, him irresistible, and Liam untouchable. Being in a very public three-way relationship would take care of all that, even if it were just secretly pretend.

        It was no surprise then when, the morning after their big announcement, Louis Tomlinson, the university’s token fairy, was attempting to break down their door with his delicate hands.

        “Open up, sweetums! I know you’re in there!”

        Usually, it would be Liam answering that at ass o’clock in the morning, but he was elsewhere, probably in the middle of his 100th lap at the university pool. Niall, on the other hand, had pulled the night before. The last time Zayn saw the brown-haired Irishman was when he was dragged into a cab along by two very persuasive sorority girls. It was just Zayn then, groaning as he rolled out of bed and dragged himself to where twinkerella was waiting.

        “Bitch, you better explain yourself!”

        “Good morning to you, too, Lou,” Zayn yawned, rubbing his naked torso as his heavy feet made their way to the kitchen on autopilot.

        A pot of coffee was already waiting for him. Liam always brewed extra before leaving for practice. Zayn poured himself a cup, hoping the sound of sloshing liquid would drown out Louis’s tinny nasal voice.

        The older guy had been hounding him since their freshman mixer—an event Zayn would like permanently erased from memory. Louis, having downed several contraband cocktails before and during the festivities, had clung onto him like a baby koala shouting for Zayn to put his "big cappuccino cock" up his ass. Embarrassed as he was, freshman Zayn still did the decent thing and carried the passed out upperclassman to his flat, let him chuck his guts out into the toilet, and tucked him into his own bed. It was a gentlemanly gesture he soon realized he'd regret.

        The day after the mixer, Louis had announced that Zayn was the best lay he'd had since his very first foray into the magical world of gay sex. And that proclamation had merit. On top of being the queen of all flaming queens, Louis also owned the notorious title of university slut, the best one, he claims. Word got out quickly, causing Zayn's datability index to skyrocket. He went out with a couple of guys after that, never really going further than a few kisses and the occasional groping. Zayn’s prudence didn’t stop the wild rumors, though. To be seen with Zayn became a status symbol. He was a sex god, a title that's actually more trouble than it's worth. Every gay guy he knew wanted to sleep with him. Every girl on campus wanted to turn him straight, including some of his a-little-close-to-elderly professors. Zayn just wanted people to respect his boundaries, a concept that was, apparently, still very foreign to Louis.

        “Come on! Spill! When did this happen? I swear, Malik, you don’t bother telling me anything anymore. I had to learn from Briana fucking Jungwirth that you now have not one, but two! Two boyfriends, Zayn!”

        Zayn let out a quiet sigh before plopping himself down on kitchen stool. It was too early for that discussion, too early for anything with Louis involved. He wouldn't exactly call Louis a friend, but the boy seemed to think they were "besties."

        He could feel Louis’s blue eyes boring into his skull as he let out another sigh. “It just… happened, yeah? It's nothing.”

        “I beg your pardon?” Louis huffed as he shoved his face into Zayn’s space. “Your tongue was lodged into both those boys’ throats all night, and don’t even deny it. I have photographic proof on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter… It’s on fucking Tumblr, Malik! It’s with the cat gifs and Beyoncé. That is not nothing!”

        The problem with Louis Tomlinson was that he was the exaggerator. Zayn had only kissed each of the guys once—not counting the accidental peck on the lips he gave Liam before calling it a night, but no one else had to know that.

        "How long, Zayn?"

        “How long what?"

        “How long has this been on? You guys live together. You’ve been with Niall two years, and puppy boy for one. Oh my god! Is this why you refused to let me move in with you when Harry left?”

        “I remember pretty well, you said this place was the shitter, actually.”

        “Not the point, Zayn. How long?”

        “I dunno, a month or two?”

        “You don’t know when you guys became boyfriends?”

        Zayn started rubbing his temples, missing the silence of his bed. Louis was that broken alarm clock that just wouldn’t die no matter how hard you punched the shut-the-fuck-up button. “It just happened, yeah? We just made it official last night.”

        “I guess it makes sense now. No wonder you haven’t been dating lately.” Louis sighed and nodded, a sign of his satisfaction with the answer, temporary satisfaction. There were two important traits that defined Louis Tomlinson, nosy and persistent. There would be follow up questions. “So… how does that work?”

        “How does what work?”

        “Y’know? The sex. It’s complicated enough with two people. How do you guys manage? Like, Niall tops, definitely. And I know you're a top. Do you guys spit roast Liam or do you prefer double stuffing?"

        Zayn almost choked at that. It's not like he hadn't thought about those scenarios before. He's a gay guy with two fit flatmates and an overactive imagination. But it was different hearing those thoughts spewed out by another person while you’re having your morning coffee.

        "Can you be any more crude? Really? I'm not confirming any of that."

        "Come on, Zayn! I need the details. Don't tell me your cock has never touched puppy boy's fuckable lips."

        It was at that moment Liam decided to walk into their flat, gym bag slung on his broad shoulder, shaggy hair still slightly dripping from his post-swim shower. The sight of him made Louis grin like the Cheshire Cat. "Hey, _Leeyum_."

        Liam froze in his spot, discomfort blooming across his face. Louis had that effect on the poor guy. Zayn remembered very well how, on several occasions, Louis had pinched, groped, and propositioned his hapless flatmate for sexual favors. It was a miracle Liam had never filed a harassment complaint. Zayn had contemplated doing so when he once caught Louis cornering the poor guy in a bathroom. It was during a rager at one of the off-campus apartments. Zayn had too much to drink and stumbled into Louis pressing his dainty palm against a petrified Liam’s crotch. His intrusion made the boy pull back and leave with a giggle. Liam looked mortified, but insisted he was fine and that Louis meant no harm so Zayn let it pass.

        " _Loueeeh_ ," Zayn dragged his name out as a warning.

        "What? I was only greeting him. Jeez, Zayn. I'm not going to do anything to your boyfriend. I know my boundaries."

        "Do you?" Zayn whispered with a sigh. He noticed Liam still standing by the door, looking unsure about the situation. Zayn flashed him a warm smile, which Liam slowly returned.

        "So when do you guys start kissing?"

        "Lou, shut it!"

 

It was a knock on the door that snapped Liam awake, a knock followed by a voice asking him if he was okay. He hadn't even realized he’d fallen asleep. Perhaps his morning swim had worn him out more than it usually did. But then again, he had quite a party the night before, one full of booze, locked lips, and soft giggling against the skin of his neck. He could still hear the whispered confession, feel the heated breath right where his birthmark rested. The ghost of the memory still gave him tiny little goosebumps all over.

        "Li?" Zayn had tried the knob again, to no avail. A few minutes more of forced silence, Liam heard Zayn walk away and close the door to the room opposite his.

        Louis had probably already left. The thought of which instantly filled him with relief. He couldn’t be alone with the guy, much less be in his presence for too long. Liam had quickly slipped into his room unnoticed while the boy kept berating Zayn in the kitchen. Louis Tomlinson was a menace, always been one since they first met. Liam had just moved in then, busy unpacking what little clothes he had from his solo suitcase. Zayn had stepped out for a while, leaving the troublemaker with him.

        “Well hello there,” Louis said from his doorway, making him stand up from where he was crouching. “You’re the new Harry, then?”

        “I’m Liam,” he offered his hand, which Louis gently caressed with no intention of letting go.

        “Yes, I’ve heard,” Louis batted his eyes, “You have quite a strong hand.”

        “Uh, thanks?”

        “I could use a strong hand, if you know what I mean... to loosen me up.”

        “Oy! Don’t scare him off!” shouted Niall, who walked into the room with a bowl of chips in hand.

        “Oh please, _Neil_. I was just being friendly,” said Louis, finally freeing Liam’s hand.

        Liam swore he caught Niall rolling those blue eyes of his.

        “You okay?” Niall asked, offering him a welcome chip.

        “Yeah, I’m fine,” he lied.

        Liam probably should have been grateful that Louis gave him that kind of constant attention. The guy’s advances were overwhelming, bordering on sexual harassment if it wasn’t already, but deep down he knew Louis just liked being a twat. Other guys at the university treated him a lot less cordially. That morning at swim practice was a good example.

        There was a reason why Liam always liked staying behind in the pool. He couldn't stand how the guys from the team treated him every time they took showers together. If it weren't for the scholarship, he wouldn't have forced himself to endure it—the murmured slurs, the disgusted stares, the force field that seemed to repel his teammates away every time he tried to start a conversation. It was the verbal bullying that always got to him. Another mention of “rent boy” to his face and he'd be slamming his fists against his teammate's noses. He was used to fights, but he wasn't stupid enough to do it within university premises.

        He knew people talked about him. They talked about him a lot. University gossip, he realized, was much worse than those in high school. What's said in uni had repercussions when you sent out job applications. He was hoping that their little plan would sort that out.

        With a sigh, Liam got out of bed and pulled off of his shirt to change into a ratty tee, rather old but still comfortable. After a detour in the kitchen for a glass of water, coupled with a few minutes of pacing and mulling over the speech in his head, he found himself standing in front of Zayn's door, knocking.

        ...and still knocking.

        When he was just about to turn back, he heard a shuffling followed by Zayn opening his door just slightly. "Hey Li," he said, voice muffled followed by a yawn as he lazily scratched his flat belly. Zayn looked so soft and so gentle, still in the middle of his post-sleep haze. This was a look only reserved for Liam. No one could ever jolt Zayn from his sleep and not get an earful of sass or profanities, not even sunshiny Niall. Liam considered himself lucky.

        "Hey," he said back. "Want to grab lunch?"

 

The corner cafe was in that calm-before-the-storm state. The breakfast rush had just finished, soon to be followed by the lunch crowd—a mix of rowdy students and professors who weren't too keen on venturing outside the campus grounds. It had rained earlier, and outside it smelled like fresh earth and wet grass mixed with the smoke circles Zayn had puffed out.

        "Thanks," Liam said, as the waitress set down their orders, a poor excuse of a cheeseburger for Liam, and a chicken pasta for Zayn. The boy had put out his cigarette and started on the plate before him. Liam watched intently as Zayn slurped a forkful of noodles.

        "It's impolite to stare, you know?" Zayn said, stopping mid-chew.

        "Sorry," Liam blushed, finally getting his hands on his burger.

        "I'm sorry about the kiss," Zayn said, wiping cream off his lips. "I mean, the one back at the flat."

        It was Liam's turn to stop chewing.

        "I had too much to drink, and you were just there, and, you know me, I can get a bit clingy, and—"

        "It's okay, Zayn, really," he said. Whatever speech he had prepared earlier had been forgotten. All he could focus on was the weird feeling churning in his stomach, pulling down the sides of his lips into a pout so subtle, Zayn wouldn’t even notice it from up close.

        Silence lingered between them for a minute before their neglected food got their attention. Liam's cheeseburger was rather unfortunate, but he kept eating it to give him something to do.

        "It worked, though," Zayn said. "The fact that Louis knows means that everybody knows. Niall's crazy plan worked."

        Liam nodded. He wasn't too sure about what Zayn meant. Had things really fallen according to plan? For Niall and Zayn, maybe. There were a few people at the cafe, but he immediately felt their eyes on him once he and Zayn had walked in. Girls were chatting about them while queuing for their orders. Normally, they'd already be buttering up Zayn, but this time, Liam was a wall, twenty feet high, barbed, full of graffiti, and blocking their way. He’d heard them whispering. They were curious to know why Zayn was settling for the man whore. He wasn’t one; he wasn’t anymore, at least.

 

There was a loud whirring in the kitchen when they got back. Remnants of tomatoes, lemons, tabasco, a half-empty bottle of vodka, and Niall’s toothy smile had greeted them as they neared the counter. Frozen bloody Marys just a bit after noon.

        “Fun night?” Zayn asked, handing Niall two empty glasses.

        “Weird morning,” he said, pouring Zayn and himself a cocktail each.

        It was strictly water for Liam who quietly sat on one of the stools.

        “I woke up with a massive hangover and an even more massive case of blue balls. Cheers!” Niall said as he Zayn clinked glasses before downing their cocktails in one go.

        “What?” Liam asked in disbelief, “You had two girls with you last night.”

        “Yeah, but none of them wanted to sleep with me. They just wanted to talk about you lads all night.”

        Zayn snorted, putting his empty glass down.

        “Yeah. Had to lie through my teeth about how we got together,” Niall sighed, running fingers through his brown hair.

        “We should've thought about that more,” Zayn said, “What if our versions of events are different? Louis came in here earlier asking about the same thing.”

        “What did you say?” Niall asked, pulling a seat next to Liam.

        “Nothing much. He mostly asked about our sex lives. He thinks Liam bottoms, by the way.”

        “What?” Liam exclaimed. He felt his cheeks flare up as Niall loudly guffawed beside him, slapping his knee repeatedly.

        “I didn’t confirm anything,” Zayn shrugged as he began clearing out the mess Niall made.

        “Relax, Li,” Niall said, regaining his composure. “I’m sure Zaynie here wouldn’t mind switching roles with you from time to time.”

        That comment only made the heat from Liam’s cheeks spread to the rest of his body. Zayn didn’t seem the slightest bit bothered by the comments as he continued wiping down the counter.

        “So what did you tell the girls?” Liam asked, forcefully changing the subject.

        “I told them that I was confused, testing out the the waters. I said that you and Zayn here have been dating in secret for a while and wanted to try something new, and that’s when you guys invited me in. I told them that since we were all living together, it was natural. They seemed to buy it… And I kind of I told them you were the clingy one.”

        “Why am I getting the short end of the stick here?” Liam huffed. “The only reason I agreed to do this was so that people would stop thinking I’m a hooker. And so far, that’s not working.”

        “You don’t know that, Li. It’s only been less than a day.” Niall rubbed his shoulder. “I haven’t had any luck yet, too.”

        Liam sighed, opting to rest his head on the kitchen counter. Niall moved his hand to softly ruffle his hair. Liam knew they weren’t really boyfriends, but the love behind that gesture made it feel like they were.

        “I think we should sell it more,” Niall said.

        Zayn wiped his hands on his jeans, “What do you suggest we do?”

        “I dunno,” said Niall, “More PDA?”

        Liam groaned.

 

Arpeggio. Niall, for the life of him, could not nail down the arpeggio. He could feel the slight burn in his arm as he set his bow aside and lay his cello down carefully in its case. It was one of those days. Normally, he’d get it perfectly—it was expected of him, considering he’d been playing the cello since his sixth birthday—so if he didn’t, Niall knew something was off with him. He just wasn’t sure whether it was the lack of sleep or the fact that he’s still so painfully a virgin. It’s not that he was a horndog. He’s pretty sure his wanking habits were just as healthy as any college dude’s. This quest of his to pop his proverbial cherry stemmed from something deeper. Niall wanted to prove something to himself, that he was, without a doubt, a full-blooded man.

        “You sounded great,” Zayn said as Niall walked to the fridge for a can of beer. The boy was perched by their window, reading glasses on, and a book in hand.

        “I was horrible,” Niall said after a sip, “I’m too slow and too sharp.”

        “Couldn’t tell the difference.”

        Niall inspected the book in Zayn’s hands as he walked over to where he was sitting. _The Art of Travel_ , it read. Typical Zayn, escaping, Niall thought as he sat in front of his flatmate by the ledge.

        “Can I bum a cigarette?”

        “You stressed?” Zayn asked, putting the book down.

        “A bit.”

        “I have something better.” Zayn smiled, retreating into his room before going back out with a tin of premium cannabis and a few sheets of rolling paper. Niall watched him roll a spliff, a fascinating sight, if you asked him. Zayn was hunched over, tongue unconsciously caught between his lips. He was focused on getting just the right amount of buds onto the sheet, spreading them out evenly, and packing them just right. He took the first whiff and handed Niall the blazing joint. It burned dry and heavy in his mouth.

        “Fuck, that’s good,” Niall said, smoke billowing out of his nostrils.

        “Yeah,” Zayn smiled taking another drag, resting his head on the jamb opposite Niall’s.

        “You do know Liam’s gonna kill us, right?”

        Zayn laughed at this and puffed out the window, “He’ll be fine.”

        Niall took another drag, trying to keep his mind off of anything except for the way Zayn’s face started to glow with the incoming high. The boy had kept licking his lips, soft and pliant and stretching into this lazy impish smile.

        “Penny for your thoughts?” Zayn asked.

        “I’m not like you, Zayn,” Niall sighed, letting another cloud of smoke escape him. “Girls just don’t like me. They don’t want to fuck ‘Nasty Niall.’”

        It was a moniker people gave him when he was caught watching porn before midterms in the middle of freshman English. In his defense, he really didn’t know his earphones weren’t fully plugged in the whole time the video played. The audio seemed perfectly audible to him. Unfortunately for Niall, it was also perfectly audible to the rest of the class. His professor had asked him to step out of the hall immediately, leaving him no time to kill his boner or let his face cool down to its natural color. It also didn’t help he got caught masturbating in the library. Harry, their then-flatmate, had his sister over at their apartment, so Niall opted to get his rocks off elsewhere. The secluded corner of the History section seemed like a good choice at that time. Mrs. Rowling, the elderly librarian seemed to disagree when she shrieked the very moment Niall decided to climax quite violently into his hand.

        “Don’t be too hard on yourself. Girls like guys who’re freaks.”

        “Gee, thanks,” Niall puffed.

        “Hey, I didn’t mean it like that. If it’s any consolation, you know I’m still a virgin, right?”

        “Yeah. Try telling that to the whole campus. See who believes you. Fuck. What the fuck was I thinking? Now girls definitely don’t want to fuck me. They think I’m gay.”

        “They think you’re confused. You said it yourself. The ladies dig that stuff.”

        “This is stupid.”

        “We can call it off, if you want.”

        “What? No! People would think I’m more pathetic than I already am.”

        “You’re not pathetic, Niall.”

        Niall could see Zayn’s glazed eyes softly looking back at his. He was being sincere with him. And he appreciated that. He appreciated how Zayn was always so kind to him, always there without judgments, always supportive, to the point of joining this stupid charade.

        “I still don’t get it, though. Why haven’t you fucked anyone? I mean, you can have anybody at this point.”

        “I dunno,” Zayn said, “I’m not really in it for the sex, you know? I guess I’m waiting for someone special.”

        “I wish I was more like you.”

        “What does that mean?”

        “You’re cool. And you don’t even have to try that hard. Fuck. And here I am, a freak and a band geek.”

        Zayn started laughing, “Correction. You play in an orchestra.”

        “Yeah, yeah. Orchestra.”

        A beat of silence passes, disturbed only by silent sound of smoke rushing out their lungs.

        “I don’t know what to do,” Niall said while frustratedly scratching his brown locks.

        “Bleach your hair.”

        “What?” Niall looked at the smirk spreading across his flatmate’s pretty face.

        “Don’t they say blondes have more fun?”

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this chapter, please make sure to leave a comment and hit that kudos button right after. That would let me know if I should even pursue this. Otherwise, I'll drop the story. Letting me know you're reading and enjoying what I put out here really matters. Cheers! :)


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